Sunday, August 4, 2013

A Daddy's letter to his foster son


August 4, 2013

Dear Baby Boy,

I don’t know if you will ever get a chance to read this, but I pray you will. I’d love to be the one to deliver it to you many years from now when you can understand and appreciate it. But I probably will not get the chance. Regardless, I feel the need to write whether you ever receive it or not.

This past Wednesday, we were told that you will leave us in the next two weeks. You see, you’ve been our son for the last year. Though the state of Texas sees you as our foster son, we see you as our son. We have loved you as our own. And you, my son, have more than loved us as your own. 

You were nine months old when you came to us. You were reserved, serious and scared. You had been cared for by a group of nuns for a couple of weeks in Corpus Christi when we got you. I’m sure you brought happiness to those dear women that loved you for those couple of weeks. I know you did. 

I remember the excitement in my wife’s voice when she called about you. I was at work when you were delivered to our door. Jennifer sent me pictures of you within the first 5 minutes of your arrival. I came home early that day. I remember Jennifer’s tearful words, “He has healed my heart”.

I remember thinking, really knowing, that you were an answer to prayer. We had suffered a few failed adoption attempts in our effort to grow our family. All of them were, but one in particular was very, painful for Jennifer. You were a gift from God, a healing balm.

You could hold your own bottle, but you did not seem to eat much those first few days. Change is never easy, not even when you’re nine months old. I hate to break it to you, but change doesn’t get much easier as you age either.

Your older brother, our first son, Noah, had trouble with the change, too. He had been an only child for 6 years before you came to us. You were delivered to us on Noah’s 6th birthday. Sharing was a new skill Noah continues to learn. Through applied experience, you have been a great instrument of knowledge for Noah’s big brother’s skills.

We got Taylor, your younger sister, and our only daughter, less than three months after you first joined us. You, too, have had to learn to be a big brother. And what a good one, you’ve been. Tender, kind and concerned, you have been a joy to watch with Taylor. You give her lots of hugs and kisses. And I think you learned sharing a little faster than Noah, but don’t tell him that.

I remember when you walked for the first time. I remember when you talked for the first time. I remember your first tooth. Small and simple joys.

I have always been impressed with your tender heart, my son. One of the highlights of my day is when I hit the door after work. Most often, you are the first to greet me with a hug and a kiss. I have always felt that you have been especially endeared to me. I know I have been endeared to you. Jennifer says you think I’m your momma. I think she may be right. You often run to me when you are hurt or in need of comfort. It’s a role I have greatly enjoyed. We have often said that of our three children, you are our only cuddler.

You hug, kiss and cuddle more than our other children. And you seem to have a knack for delivering it when one of your parents needs it most. I know your trick… …you listen to the Lord. He knows you and you know Him. I know He protected you in the first 9 months of your life when things weren’t so great at home for you. I pray you never break that bond. It’s the most important relationship you can have.

I want you to know how much my heart aches as write this letter. If tears are any indication, I’m on my seventh tissue and counting. I want you to know, not to feel sadness or hurt because of my pain, but so you will know you are loved. I mean really loved!

I want you to know you are important! I want you to believe in yourself, even when the world doesn’t! I pray you will never lose that tender heart. God speaks to those with tender, humble hearts.

I know you will be a great big or little brother wherever you go, just like you were at our house.

I know you will heal other hearts, just like you did at our house.

I know you will brighten rooms with your smile, just like you did at our house.

I know you will bring warm feelings with your hugs and kisses, just like you did at our house.

Because you leave us at only 20 months, you will not remember me. And that’s probably a good thing-you will not remember the pain of the upcoming transition. You will only know those who you will soon call your new “momma” and “da da”. It might be a little rough for a few weeks, but you will adapt. I know you will.

But I want you to know, my son, that you have been a great joy to me. I want you to know that I will never forget you. And part of you will always be with me.

My God be with you until we meet again!



  1. The tears are flowing freely. Jennifer, both you and Jody have given so much to this sweet innocent child, God's child. It breaks my heart, as I have watched him grow this past year under your love and gentle guidance. I know God has a plan for this sweet sweet little boy. And, I know the love you have both shown him will forever be in his heart. Praying for peace for all of you during this time of transition.

  2. I meant to include this verse, as I truly believe in it...

    "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

    Jeremiah 29:11

    God will be watching over him.

  3. Oh Jennifer, this made me cry to read. And honestly, angry at our state for taking a boy who is clearly so loved and cherished away to a new home.
    But I know God will heal your hearts again, and lead you to remember with joy all the wonderful times you were blessed with, and slowly take away the sadness you're now feeling.
    I'll be praying for you and your family in this difficult time.

    Isaiah 25:8 ...the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces...

  4. I hope through the Lord's mercy, Baby Boy will forget the hurt he will feel when his 'da da' and 'momma' aren't there when he awakens. But, I hope he will never forget the love he felt in your arms. I just don't understand why the state of Texas isn't thinking clearly on this, it makes no sense to me.
    Many prayers for all of you.

  5. This breaks my heart.....I will be thinking about all of you!

  6. I think this is the most terrible, horrible, and yet wonderful thing I've ever read. I am SO grateful that Baby Boy has had the chance to be so loved for a year of his life. And my heart is absolutely broken in pieces because they're taking him away! My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you all (as long as I can stop crying enough to think straight). I truly hope that peace and comfort will be with each of you through the transition and much beyond, as life continues on but love and memory remain. I am sure the Lord is mindful and, like Jody, I hope that Baby Boy will remain close to Him through his life! May His peace find your hearts and heal the hurt that is there!!

  7. What a sweet father Jody is. I do hope that baby boy moves on to the same kind of love he has had for the last year. Reading his words about healing hearts is very touching...I pray yours is healed in time. And that one day he will know the amazing family he spent time with as Baby Boy.

  8. Jennifer, my heart is broken for you and your family. Praying for peace in your hearts. Catch a hug.

  9. You all have so much grace. Thinking of your family.

  10. Jody and Jennifer,

    I am so sorry. I love you both.

    Aunt Karen


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