Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The day she entered this world

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Hello friends....

I have been wanting to share these special photos of Taylor's birth for some time.  However, I have held off doing so because I felt it best to wait until we had finalized her adoption. My decision to wait was not out of fear about losing our daughter prior to the finalization, but moreso out of respect for Taylor's dear birthmother and birth-grandparents.  They enjoy following my blog and checking in ever so often to see how baby girl is doing.  And so, I felt in my heart it best to wait....give them time to
work through the natural feelings of grief and loss that they surely felt after the adoption....time for wounds to heal before I shared these.

I'm happy to share that we've been able to get together with their family a few times now since Taylor was born and we have had such wonderful visits.  We love them dearly and always enjoy our visits.  They feel like family to us now.  We've given them a copy of these photos....I hope they (like us) will always cherish them.  

It's hard to believe it's already been six months since we were at the hospital anxiously awaiting her birth. We were so thankful to be able to spend all day in the birthing room with Taylor's birth mom while we waited for her delivery.  What a tender and sacred time this was for us.  We had all day to spend together...we talked, we shared stories about each other's families, we laughed...the guys even watched some college football on the t.v. in the delivery room (ha...ha..)--we cried together.... it was a real blessing to have this time to bond as families before Taylor was born. I will always feel such gratitude in my heart for our birth mom and her parents for making us feel so welcome and allowing us to be there in the hours and minutes leading up to Taylor's birth and then to be there to watch it. They didn't have to do this--they could have requested that we wait and see Taylor after the birth, but they didn't. Instead, they allowed us to be a part of her birth. We felt honored to be able to share this special moment with them.

I think what touches me the most as I reflect on this day is how as we sat together in the birthing room and visited.... I think I speak for all of us when I say that we could feel the Savior's presence there---bonding our relationship and calming our fears. A feeling of peace and warmth was palpable at times for me was as if he was lovingly guiding our two families together ... preparing us for little Taylor's arrival.  Putting our hearts at ease with her birthmother's decision to place her with us as her adoptive family.  What a tender mercy this was feel this great sense of peace and calm round about us.

I want our daughter to always know how tender and real these heavenly feelings were that know without a doubt when she may feel troubled or struggle with feelings about being adopted that Heavenly Father's hand was in this---that He loves her dearly.  That her birthmother loves her with all her heart.  That her adoptive family love her with all the love they have.  And that families are forever---we are bound eternally.  This was confirmed for me by the Spirit on this special day.

As I was looking back over these photos last night preparing this post, it amazed me how much she has already changed since I first held her in my arms.  What a tiny, precious little angel she was (and still is).  Not all adoptions work this way, but I was truly blessed to be able to be in the hospital room at the very moment she was born. Taylor's birthmother is such a kind and thoughtful young woman....I will forever be grateful that I was able to stand next to her as she gave birth to our daughter .
What a tender and sacred moment that was for me!

I'll never forget when the doctor came in and told her it was time to begin pushing...
I remember feeling weak in my knees as I watched the birthing process begin. I was in awe of this young woman who was suffering such great pains for her daughter--- to give her daughter life.

I will also never forget the moment as I watched Taylor take her first breath--- my heart was pounding so hard ---I thought it might burst through my chest.  I remember backing up against the wall next to the bed and putting my hand over my heart.  I could barely see anything for my tears....but I remember seeing the doctor proudly hold  Taylor up in the air and show her to us.  And then at that moment, I looked over at her birthmother and the tears were freely flowing....  my heart felt so full  that moment---I had such a deep, abiding love and gratitude for her birth mom.  I can only imagine how much her Father in Heaven must have loved her for helping him bring one of his special daughters into this world.

It was a beautiful and humbling moment for me to witness as an adoptive mom.  
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Oh what a tender moment this was...getting to hold baby girl for the first time--
I remember I could barely catch my breath--
my hands were shaking so bad--
I felt so much love for her at this moment wash over my heart.

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One proud papa....Daddy was beaming from ear to ear while he held her for the first time.
Finally...he had his baby girl. :-)

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It was really special watching Noah meet his baby sister for the first time....
he was sooooo excited.  

He had been praying in is sweet bedtime prayers for some time
and asking for Heavenly Father to give him a baby sister.

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Another special visit that I was grateful to witness while we were at the hospital was this one...
my sweet sister-in-law, Jill and nephew, Marcus stopped by the hospital to meet baby Taylor.
They were so looking forward to meeting her.

I was so thankful that Jill could be there, hold Taylor and visit with her birthmother...
this visit had very special meaning for her ---for you see she is adopted...
Jill and I have had some wonderful and tender conversations about her childhood, her amazing family
and how adoption has blessed her life.  

I know that she and Taylor will always have a very special bond because they are both girls and were adopted...
I also know that Aunt Jill will bless Taylor's life in so many ways over the years...
and I'm sure help Taylor understand someday how special it is to be adopted and to have a forever family who loves her more than anything.

We love Aunt Jill so much and are so thankful for her tender and sweet heart.
What a blessing she is to our family.

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The special moment of witnessing Taylor's birth and being with her at the hospital...
it took me back to the day that Noah was born six years ago....and how I was able to experience
the same emotions and feelings while I stood beside his birthmother --- lovingly holding her hand
while watching her give birth to our dear son.

Such an amazing moment. 

As an adoptive mom, I know that I am truly blessed to have been able to watch both
our children enter this world--not all adoptive moms get to have this experience. I will forever
be grateful to both of my children's birthmothers for allowing me to do this. What a blessing
these women are (and will forever be) to our family---for without them, I would not have the
great joy of being a mother in this life.

I am reminded of this quote that I read some years ago about adoption and birthmothers....

 "The Lord gives compensating blessings to those who sacrifice their will to His. 
Speaking messianically, the prophet Isaiah proclaimed, “The Lord hath anointed me … 
to give … beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the 
spirit of heaviness” (Isaiah 61:1, 3)
In placing their faith in the Lord as they make a truly selfless choice, many birth mothers 
have found that from the ashes of their deepest pain, He has made something beautiful." 

I hope and pray that both Noah and Taylor's birthmothers always know how great our
love is for them---the immense gratitude we feel in our hearts for them.
I want them to have a sense of peace and know that because of their sacrifice....
we never take for granted one day --no, not one minute that we get to spend with our children.
For we know (and have witnessed first-hand) the tremendous sacrifice that was made for them
to be able to be a part of our forever family.

How thankful I am today...and everyday...for the blessings of adoption.  It has been a sacred
path that I have been privileged to walk down to becoming a mother.  Despite my infertility,
I am deeply grateful to my Heavenly Father---for the divine plan He had for me all along---
and for allowing me to have these life changing and soul stretching experiences while in mortality.


  1. Oh my goodness--this is truly beautiful (and of course, made me cry!!!). So many emotions; what an experience. Taylor is so blessed to have so many who love her so dearly and eternally!!! I am in awe of the strength of Taylor's birth mother and just have so much respect for her and her family. And I am so grateful for your strength in trusting the Lord and allowing His hand to guide your lives!

    Thank you for sharing the beauty of this experience with all of us.

  2. Wow! Your photos are amazing and I can see and feel the love in the room for this little baby. Congratulations to you ALL.


  3. I found your blog through a mutual friend's Instagram and I'm so happy that I did. You are a great writer and I'm crying after reading this beautiful story about your precious baby girl! Congratulations to your family on this miracle.


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