Life...

Friday, May 4, 2012


I love this spiritual thought...I came across it in my personal scripture study.  I have re-read it over and over as I have been struggling with some things this week.  I'm wrestling with some decisions Jody and I are weighing out with our second adoption.   Sometimes I just feel like I may be wearing Heavenly Father out with my ongoing prayers to help us grow our family.  I just feel so strongly in my heart that there is another baby out there for us...we're not ready to give up just yet.  And yet knowing this, I continue to struggle with the "having patience" part of His plan for me.  I sometimes also feel bad that Jody has to endure this infertility journey with me.  I know in my heart it isn't right to feel or think this way...but I sometimes struggle with painful feelings like this.  This whole experience of trying to grow our family has just been exhausting and draining for our little family.

In addition to my adoption worries....I am concerned about my dear grandmother who is facing some serious health problems at this time.  Nanny has always been-- not only my grandmother--but a dear friend and confidant in my life.  It's hard to live so far away from her during her time of need....I'm sad that I can't be there to sit with her and talk with her--to help my father and mother take care of her.  I so wish I could be by her side right now to help comfort her in her time of need.

I'm also struggling with parenting my son.  He's the absolute joy of my life and a good kid, and yet he's also an active 5-year old boy who has a mind of his own. ;-) We don't always agree these days on everything... which makes for some difficult {and tiring} "mommy" days.  I'm sure most moms out there reading this will agree....there are days as a stay at home mom where you can feel so alone---it's most definitely not an easy job.  

I also worry about a dear friend's mother who is struggling with cancer at this time.  This dear lady is my mom's best friend.  I have known her and her family most of my life.  She is one of the kindest women in the world and this terrible, awful disease is taking its toll on her emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I am praying for a much needed miracle for her and her health.  She deserves to have more time on this earth with her family.  

There is a dear sister we go to church with who I spoke with on the phone this week.  By all accounts, she and I really don't have much in common other than our shared religion.  I have known her for about two years -- my husband and I met her when we moved into the ward that we now attend at church.  This dear woman is facing a very difficult trial in her life --- she is raising all five of her grandchildren by herself.  It's a daunting task for anyone, but especially her given her elderly age and how she struggles to care for all of the children on such a humble income.  I worry about her and the children all the time.  But I know Heavenly Father watches over them and continues to care for them through the good deeds of others.  What a blessing this is to see.

So you see....these are just all thoughts whirling around in my head today.

Life is hard {sometimes}...plain and simple.  

Some days can undoubtedly feel harder than others.  It's comforting for me to be reminded by loved ones and friends {or like this week in my personal scripture study}, that no matter how overwhelming, scary or downright painful it can feel during our worst moments---we are not alone.  I will admit it....sometimes I allow myself to forget this.  I sometimes allow my own trials and difficulties to weigh me down and get the best of me.  And yet, when I find the strength and deeper faith to embrace the knowledge that the Savior loves me and wants what is best for me--when I remember that He knows of my heartache {and yours}.  He knows and hears my prayers {and yours}.  And that He has promised me {and you} that the miracles I am  praying for {and you} can happen and will happen....someday--- I feel an overwhelming sense of peace come over me.

Our greatest challenge so often in this life is to keep the faith and stay the course.  But when we muster the courage to do so, we discover we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and it becomes more apparent than ever when we make it through those difficult times--- when we look back at the challenges we overcame--we see more clearly how God's hand has been in our life all along.


XOXO,

Jennifer

6 comments:

  1. You DO have so much going on...no wonder. It looks like you have got a great verse, and a great faith, to see you through these challenges. I will pray for you too.

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  2. Thanks so much for being an answer to some prayers today.

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    1. You are so welcome, Jen....I hope you and your sweet family are doing well. :-) Good to hear from you!

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing all of these things. You are such an amazing person Jennifer! I so admire your open heart. I will keep you and yours in my prayers :-)

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    1. Thanks, LuLu...you are too kind. I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

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