3.30.2011

High heels, bling-bling and motherhood.



Earlier this morning, just after we had eaten breakfast--I was in the kitchen putting dishes away. I heard this "clang-clang-clang" noise coming from our bedroom into the kitchen. And this is what I saw....



Someone had been digging around in my closet...it looks like high-heels and the "bling-bling" caught his attention. I busted out laughing when I saw him. His Daddy is out of town right now for work, so I wanted to make sure he saw this today.

Yep...I have a feeling Little Man may be very unhappy with me someday for posting these pics. (The Hubby probably will, too!) ;-) But what they heck--that's what I keep this blog for, to journal about all our interesting days here at Casa de Mask.

It is in moments like this that I cherish the gift of motherhood the most. It's not always easy being a mom--we all know that. Many a days it feels like a thankless job, one where our minds, bodies and souls are stretched far further and deeper than we want or ever thought they could be. My stylish, professional clothing and those high-heels and fancy jewelry {on most days} stay nestled in my closet....collecting dust. Instead....you'll typically find me in my comfortable jeans and casual shirt, flip flops and my rubber iron-man watch to accessorize.

Yes, there are days when we feel completely and utterly inadequate for this role. But despite this.... the rewards of getting to see my son grow up play-by-play and the utter joy I feel in my heart when I am with him...these simple gifts far outweigh any sacrifice I may have to make as a woman in this day and age.

This morning, I thanked my Father in Heaven in my morning prayers for this time I have with my son as a "SAHM"--- the time I get each and every day to sit with him, play with him, laugh with him , tickle him, read books to him, make cookies with him, color with him and have all the wonderful {and quite interesting} conversations about life....yes indeed--there is tremendous beauty, happiness and contentment which flows into a woman's heart as she strives to be the best mother she can.

I have my days where I question why I could not have had the opportunity to be a mother sooner. Why am I just now having this opportunity, when {in my mind} it should have come to me long ago-- when I was younger? Or why can't I be the mother to more children? But it never fails, as soon as a thought like this enters my mind, another quickly follows...

God's plan for us is the right plan. It is a divine plan. We must never forget this. His plan for us {I know with every fiber of my body} will far exceed any plans we make in this life.

I feel certain that the younger version of "me" would not have cherished or appreciated this time with my son while he is young and so innocent. I was too insecure, distracted, and self-absorbed back then to appreciate the beauty of a developing child. More importantly, the divine role we have as mothers to shape and mold these sweet spirits is humbling to me in every sense. Without question, I know in my heart that the older, more mature {and yes, a little chubbier!} version of "me" is the mama my son deserves.

Because of my experiences with infertility and the long wait I had to become a mother, I can say without hesitation, I gained greater depth as a person and a daughter of God. I was given the gift of time to prepare for this role. Time to get to know my dear husband better. Time to work hard and get a great education. And yes, valuable time to get to know myself on a deeper level--to discover more about myself and what I am capable of doing in this world.

I am humbled beyond words to say that I have felt God's hand in my life --countless times-- most often while on my knees in sincere prayer...pleading desperately for the blessing to be a mother someday. It was in these tender moments that He comforted me, calmed me and assured me that the wait would be worth it.

Isn't it funny how we don't always understand God's plan for us until we get much further down the road. How true this has been in my life...particularly in my journey to becoming a mother.


{Mother's Day- 2010}
"Faith in the Lord is trust in the Lord. We cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord's will and in the Lord's timing. ...Remember that when your prayers do not seem to be answered in the way or at the time you desire. The exercise of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always subject to the order of heaven, to the goodness and will and wisdom and timing of the Lord. When we have that kind of faith and trust in the Lord, we have true security and serenity in our lives."

--Dallin H. Oaks

Jennifer

2 comments:

  1. I love this post! I couldn't agree with you more. Things happen to open our eyes to a greater understanding of what our purpose really is while we are here. I found that out recently and will be grateful forever for the experience! Love this post sooo much!

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  2. ahhh i LOVE this post!!! amazing how you hit on so many of the things ive been feeling!! the gift of time is so bittersweet!!! thanks for always pouring out your beautiful heart!!! xoxo

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