8.29.2010

4 years ago...

"It's my child's birthday
He just went dashing by
His eyes are sparkling with the excitement meant only for today.
Presents, kisses, hugs, cake, ice cream--
It all seems so natural.
BlockquoteIt's a day of looking back and looking forward.

It's my child's birthday
But there is something different happening inside me.
This should be a day of complete joy
A day for Thanksgiving
But in the midst of all this excitement
I pause, because my thoughts are about someone else for a time.

It's my child's birthday
I have no memories of his life growing inside me and fighting to be
released.
Another someone was there
Another someone suffered for my joy.

It's my child's birthday
But someone, somewhere, is feeling emptiness inside.
I'm sure she is wondering
Who he looks like
If he is big or small.
Wondering if he laughs much.

It's my child's birthday
And in the midst of this blessed day that was given to me
I have a prayer.

Oh God, that I may never forget that someone suffered so much to give life
to my child. That someone loved my child so very much that she gave him the right to
live.

May I never forget for a moment and especially now, today, to offer a prayer of thanks for that someone and that you, dear God, will always be there for that someone to help her through the hurts she will have when she stops to think that today is my child's birthday..."

--Author Unknown


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My heart is full today as we celebrate Little Man's 4th birthday. My thoughts are not only focused on my deep love and appreciation for my beautiful son, but also on another woman out there.

His birthmother.

We met our birthmother a little over 4 years ago today.

Because of this dear woman (and I would add, a very special daughter of God), I experienced firsthand the pure love of Christ...truly how it looks and feels when you are on the receiving end.

Let me explain...




Our son's birthmother (and his sweet older brother pictured above) opened their hearts to us during the weeks leading up to his birth. Our first encounter was at her request and it was a 2 hour phone conversation. She had many questions for us and we were happy to have the opportunity to speak with her. What a humbling time this was for us. Just a few days later, our adoption counselor phoned and explained that this was a little unconventional, but wanted to know if we would be willing to meet with her in person. She had requested an in-person meeting at the adoption agency. Of course, we didn't think twice about accepting this request.

I will never forget that day as long as I live.... when she walked into the room, 8 months pregnant, I was overwhelmed with love for this dear mother. The magnitude of her decision hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to fight back my tears. My heart swelled with admiration for her at this moment. And again, I felt first hand the immense courage she had to put her child's needs above her own wants and desires. On this very special day, we weren't quite sure what would occur during our meeting, for we were under the impression she was still trying to make her decision as to who our son's adoptive parents would be.

As you can imagine, we were overwhelmed with emotions. Within 5 minutes of sitting down with her and talking about our lives, and really without expecting something like this to be said so soon in the conversation...she said, "I have made my decision and I want you to adopt my baby." She then went on to say that she knew this the minute we got off the phone with her during our initial phone conversation (a few days prior); however, she had waited purposely to tell us because she wanted to tell us in person so she could see and feel our reaction. I can tell you that tears of heartfelt joy and gratitude flowed freely at this moment--by all three of us. And despite the fact that we walked into that room on that day as strangers, we embraced as parents together--all three of us. It felt as if we had known each other long before this day ever occurred.

Adoption is a path that is uncharted in so many ways...especially when you are experiencing it for the first time. We never imagined when we first began the adoption process that we would have the opportunity to get so intimately acquainted with our birthmother or that our adoptive child would have siblings that we would get to meet and interact with. All was the case with our adoption of Little Man.

We were blessed to see and feel firsthand the deeply thoughtful decision process she embarked on to select us as his adoptive parents.

Never once did our birthmother take her decision to place her son for adoption lightly--she knew with every fiber of her body that this was one of the most important decisions of her life. We felt the weight of her decision each time we spoke with her on the phone and met with her in person. Yet we also felt her deep sense of certainty that this was the right decision for her child.

So much in fact that on the day of placement, after the 48 hour waiting period before we all left the hospital, just as she was about to sign away her parental rights, she turned to the Hubby and me and said...

"I just want you both to know, I have never once doubted my decision to place him with you since meeting you."


Yet once again, during this process, my heart overflowed with love, gratitude, respect and admiration for this dear woman.

I want our son to know and understand as he grows older that she loved him dearly and this is why she chose adoption. I want him to know that God's hand was in his life from the very beginning.




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While we don't talk as much to Little Man's birthmother as we used to, I hope she knows how much we love her and the deep gratitude we will forever feel in our hearts for the gift she gave us.

Her decision led us to our son and has allowed us to be an eternal family.

I want her to know what a beautiful son we share and that he loves unconditionally each and every person he comes in contact with. He is enamored with life and is the most joyful and happy child I know. He is bursting with energy. And more importantly, he is loved by so many in his life and strives to touch lives for good with his genuine love and concern for his fellow man.

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And now, here we are, 4 years later on this very special day...my heart continues to be full of love and immense gratitude for the gift of life and love she gave our son and our family.

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We are eternally grateful to her.

XOXO...

Jennifer

7 comments:

  1. Happy birthday to Noah and congratulations to you all. What a special day. Thank goodness for birthmoms.

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  2. Jennifer, this is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. Happy birthday to Noah. May your family continue to be blessed and strengthened each and every day; you are amazing!!!

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing! I am in tears, what a wonderful story! Happy Birthday little man...and a very special day for you Jennifer.

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  4. I'm in tears as I know the "exact" feelings you are experiencing: for Noah and his birthmother. You and Jody are blessed, the birthmother is blessed, and Noah....wow - he is blessed to have been loved SO MUCH that he was given, as a gift, for you and Jody to raise. Noah is loved. I love yall. Happy Birthday Noah!!

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  5. Jennifer,
    Having seen first hand the heart wrenching choice birth mothers go through, I am in awe of Noah's birth mother. What love she has for him. I am in awe also of the wonderful parents you and Jody are.

    I know you are once again in the process of adoption and pray that once again the Lord will bless you with a beautiful child.

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  6. I can't believe he is 4! Happy Birthday, Noah!

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  7. I just found your blog and found this post. It made me cry. We too adopted a sweet little boy through LDS. It is such an amazing gift to go through the process. Thanks you for sharing your story.

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